Pancakes
by UtopianCat
Summary: Troy and Abed loves it when Annie makes them pancakes. But what if those pancakes wave goodbye? Inspired by Episode "Cooperative Polygraphy". One-shot. Really long One-shot.


**Pancakes**

Oh, the yummy pancakes.

Abed and Troy always had pancakes for breakfast. They were yummy and butter-y and delicious and they were made by their roommate, Annie. Which was weird, because, since they graduated form Greendale, Annie had been gloomy and quiet. Then she started working at the hospital, which made her away a lot and it made the apartment very depressing. Plus, Abed's been heavily using the computer and Troy... well, he's been watching a lot of TV because he literally had nothing to do.

But then the apartment magically turned back to norma— wait, no— something better. It turned into a Disney-esque happy place. Annie'd gone from a tightly-wound robot to a total Disney princess. It was weird for the guys at first because she was twirling and humming and making pancakes. But they got used to it because of the pancakes.

"What is going on with Annie?" Troy whispered to Abed in the dining table while they currently munch on pancakes.

"Hm?" Abed couldn't answer. He was enjoying those pancakes too much.

Annie was humming 'Daybreak'. She twirled from the kitchen to the dining table carrying two plates of fat, yummy pancakes. "Here you go, guys." she said excitedly, "Just eat up! I'll make more."

"Uh, Annie..." Troy said, "What in pancake's name is going on? And what I meant by pancake's name is that this question happens to be very serious."

"What?" Annie asked, confused, but smiling.

"Well, you're twirling and humming and making pancakes with a smell that could make us float!" Troy explained, "I mean, shouldn't it be pies?"

"I do NOT understand what you're talking about, Troy."

"You're becoming a Disney princess and he's scared." Abed explained, finally being able to speak.

"Oh.." Annie said.

"Yeah..." Troy muttered. "Anyway, if so, have you met Beast? Could you ask him if he has a hairy penis? Or does he shave it? Thank you."

"Ew, Troy." Annie sat down in the dining table, "It's just that... I have a boyfriend."

Troy and Abed exchanged glances.

"Is it you?!" they said in chorus, "No. Jinx. Double Jinx."

They looked curiously at Annie.

"Okay, fine. He's from the hospital. He's very handsome." she smiles, "And he's very masculine and very reserved but deep down I know that he loves me. He doesn't talk about his feelings but he would flirt with me and we'd make-out in the—"

"Woah! Woah..." Troy and Abed hissed, "Too much."

"Right, sorry." Annie said, "He's really a good kisser."

"Blech," Troy said. "so basically, he's Jeff, but medical?"

"No," Annie shook her head, then considered the idea.

"Well, we're very happy for you, Annie." Troy said gleefully.

"We are?" Abed asked, swallowing the chewed pancakes in his mouth.

"Yes, we are, Abed." Troy assured. "At least, she's happy again."

"Aww... Troy." Annie cooed. She looked at Abed, "It's okay, right?"

"I don't understand why you would ask me." Abed said, "I was just curious about your outcome of being in a relationship with someone who's very much like Jeff."

Annie frowned.

"Although, I do like pancakes so... have fun, Annie." he continued stuffing his mouth with pancakes.

Annie forced a smile, "Thanks, you guys."

It was a wonderland for Annie and heaven for the guys. Although the bubble didn't stay afloat that long. The relationship didn't last. No more twirling, no more humming, no more pancakes. It was back to that depressing apartment with that unhappy Annie that they did not like seeing.

"Troy, date Annie." Abed ordered.

"What?! No! I will not." Troy responded.

"We need to get her back. Back to the normal Annie with an unbroken heart. It seems that the only way to do that is to get her infatuated again and boost her self-esteem." Abed said, "It's for the best."

"Don't you think that it would crush that self-esteem if we break her heart again?" Troy asked.

"Self-esteems don't get crushed, just lessened. That's why we boost it up. One way to do that is to make her believe that somebody likes her."

"But we would be _pretending _to like her."

"You don't like Annie?" Abed asked as he cocked his head.

"I do. But not 'like-like'." Troy said, forming air quotes with his fingers.

"But there's so many things to like-like about Annie."

"Fine, you date her." Troy said accusingly.

"No, thank you." Abed said, shaking his head. "It won't be right."

"Won't be right? Dude. You almost kissed her, had role-play elf sex with her, then actually kissed her."

"Annie and I don't stand a chance on dating each other. Our relationship would be fast-paced, and...unusual. However, you have the history, chance and reason to do so. You need to do it. For pancakes."

"But I don't want to. You must, at least, have a plan B."

"No. Not yet." Abed said.

"Well, you'll think of something." Troy said as he patted him on the back, "I'll be in the living room watching Catfish."

"But we already watched that. With Britta, remember?"

"That was the movie. I'm watching the series. It's pretty dope and disturbing at the same time." Troy said, grinning as he went in the living room.

Abed didn't get the appeal of Catfish. It were stories about people who fell in love with the perfect person. It was kind of unusual of them to fall in love with someone perfect and they haven't even seen them yet. It was the internet, what to expect? In Abed's eyes, they were people who are easily fooled and driven_. Driven? _Huh.

"Troy?" Abed called out as a light bulb appeared on the top of his head.

"Yeah?" Troy said from the living room.

"We need to catfish Annie." Abed said as dramatically as ever.

Troy rushed into the dining area with an excited look in his eyes. "When do we start?"

"So is he hot?" Troy asked as Abed typed different characteristics of a person in the personal information section on the facebook sign-up page.

"Of course." Abed replied as he kept on typing.

"Hotter then Clive Owen?" Troy asked curiously.

Abed gave Troy a curious look, then he went back to typing. "Yes,"

"Woah, even Britta couldn't say 'no' to that." Troy said, imagining the guy's possible face.

Abed finished typing in words on the 'About you' section. Troy started reading it aloud.

"I don't care about anything." Troy read, "Wait, that's it?"

"It's logical. Annie will think that she can change him to make it a whole amazing love story." Abed explained.

"That's a bit diabolical, Abed." Troy said, a bit worried.

"It's nothing personal. We need pancakes, Troy. We'll get pancakes."

Troy shrugged it off and continued looking at the screen.

"So what do we use as a profile picture?" Troy asked.

"Well, I mixed up all the hottest celebrities in one picture and... well, check this out." Abed showed him the picture.

Troy took a quick look and looked back at Abed. Then back at the picture. Then Abed. Then the picture. "OH MY GOD. Is that God?!"

"With that abs? Possibly." Abed deadpanned.

"Abed..." Troy said, tearing up. "...He's gorgeous. Even I can't say 'no' to him."

Abed curved his mouth sideways.

"Abed, Annie would fall in love with this man even if she just read his name on a sidewalk!" Troy said, "'Bout the guy's personality?"

"I'll base the characteristics with lifetime of observations on men who Annie seems to like." Abed explained. "You. Jeff. Don Draper. Vaughn. Harrison Ford. Rich. Anyway, this one doesn't really have a name yet."

"Ooh... name him something manly but somehow it sounds gay.

Like Brandon. Or! Kent. Like Clark Kent." Troy suggested, emphasizing both names.

"Brandon or Kent?" Abed asked.

"I can't decide. Both sounds terrific for a perfect person." Troy said, squinting his eyes. "Alright, how about Brent?"

"Okay, Brent. The last name? I was thinking of Anderson."

"Ooh... very manly. Although I'd like to have Jaws in it. Because he's a shark. A shark with manly hands."

"Troy, I don't think sharks have hands."

"WHAT?! But my mom—" Troy's eyes squinted. "I knew that was just dad on a shark costume lying on their bed!"

Abed thought about it. "Alright. Another mash-up. How about Underjaw?"

"That sounds smart. Because it makes you think, you know?"

Abed nodded. He typed the name: Brent Underjaw on the name input box. He added a little more information but made it not too revealing because he claims there should be a little mystery to keep Annie going. He clicked the 'create account' button and in the blink of an eye, Brent Underjaw was a damn fine human being.

"Okay, the deal is: Make Annie fall in love with this guy and we get the pancakes. Right?" Troy summed up.

"Pew." Abed said, mimicking a laser gun.

"You'll take care of the e-mails, right?"

"Yes, I'll... I'll be taking care of that."

"Awesome."

"Let's get started then."

And catfishing Annie did work for them, because Annie fell madly in love with Brent. The pancakes were back, the happy Annie was back, the normal was back. The catfishing went on for a month. By then, Abed knew Annie a lot more.

Every secrets, every hopes, every fantasies. He had Annie's life the same way he had the pancakes.

"I wish Brent is right here so I could hug him and tell him how much of a great boyfriend he is." Annie said, her smile's up to her ears.

"I wish he was here too, to thank him for these delicious pancakes." Troy murmured.

"Hm?" Annie asked.

"Hm?" Troy asked.

"Hmm." Annie said, smiling.

"Congratulations, Annie." Abed said as he stuffed his pancake trophy in his mouth of awards.

"Thanks. That's why I'm gonna send him a message later and ask him if we could finally meet up." Annie said happily.

Troy and Abed's eyes grew. Troy repeatedly nudged Abed's elbow nervously.

"Troy, why are you nudging Abed's arm?" Annie asked.

"Uhh, nugding... elbow... syndrome? It's associated with... Tourette's? Yeah, you know, N. E. S. T..." Troy closed his eyes and bowed his head.

Abed shook his head.

"Nest?" Annie asked.

"It's a serious disease, Annie!" Troy yelled.

"Oh, sorry." Annie bowed her head in shame.

"Annie, meeting up with Brent is not a good idea." Abed stated.

"What? Why... not?"

"Because..." Troy said nervously, "We... hate, him."

Abed raised his eyebrows in confusion.

"Ugh!" Annie grunted.

"That's not what Troy meant."

"Yeah, what I meant to say was that we... uhh, despise him? Dammit." Troy tried to reason out. Fail.

Abed shook his head that his neck hurts now.

"I don't understand. You hate him? You've never even met him!" Annie said.

"Have you?" Abed asked.

"No! But I want to... because I know he's a great guy." Annie said.

"He could be an apathetic jerk." Abed suggested.

"You don't know him." Annie said.

"I'm just saying that there's a chance." Abed said.

Troy was looking at them, frightened.

"You insensitive jerk!" Annie screamed. "I'm meeting up with him. I'll show you. I'll show you that he's not what you think he is."

She got up and stormed off to her room.

"Abed. What do we do now?" Troy worriedly asked.

"We do nothing." Abed said, furious.

"She's pretty mad at us." Troy said. "And her heart will be crushed. Like that time I crushed my chameleon cause I couldn't see him."

"Let it be crushed. Then she'll realize I was right."

"Abed. What the hell. This was just for pancakes. Nothing personal, remember?"

"I'm done eating. I'll be in my blanket fort." Abed said as he got up and went inside the blanket fort.

Troy, left alone, sighed. "Damn... I need a drink." Troy got up and drank some chocolate milk from the fridge.

Messages:

Annie_Edison: Hey, Brent.

BrentUnderjaw: What?

Annie_Edison: Are you doing something?

BrentUnderjaw: Yes.

Annie_Edison: Oh. Sorry.

Annie_Edison: Hey.

Annie_Edison: Are you mad at me?

Abed sighed. He wanted to crush Annie. What she wanted was not good for her yet she kept insisting. Then again, neither was crushing her heart.

But Abed had never felt bad before. He can't feel, really. So crushing Annie would be easy. Very easy. He could reply back and say mean things to her.

But he can't. Although...

BrentUnderjaw logged out.

There. That would crush her.

Abed went out the blanket fort and found Annie sitting in the dining table with a closed laptop. She was thinking.

"Hey." Abed said.

"Oh. Hi." Annie muttered.

"What's up?'

"Uhm, Brent. I guess he's in a really bad mood today." Annie forced a smile.

He sat down with her. "You still mad at me?"

"What you said were not kind, Abed." Annie explained.

"They could be true."

"Still not backing down?"

Abed raised his eyebrows at Annie.

"You know what?" Annie said. "Fine. Believe what you think but I assure you that this guy is great. And once I send him a message asking for him to meet up with me, he will say yes and you will meet him and you will like him. You and Troy. You'll see."

"I dont think so."

"Why, are you so against this? Don't you want me to be happy? It's like you hate me."

"Of course I want you to be happy."

Annie sighed. "Then why?"

"Because I'm right."

"Alright. Let's make this a game again. You'd like that." Annie said. "May the best man win."

"Of course he will."

If there's one mistake that Abed did, is that he said yes to Annie when she sent Brent a message of her wanting to meet up with him.

Annie_Edison: Great. Let's meet up at the front of Dildopolis?

BrentUnderjaw: Yep. :-)

Annie_Edison: Alright then. Bye. See ya.

BrentUnderjaw: Bye.

Of course, no one would go to meet her. Because Brent isn't real. She'd be crushed. The best man won after all.

"What?!" Troy exclaimed. "You agreed to meet up with her?!"

"Sorry."

"Abed. Why? Why would you do this? You'll crush her! .OhmyGod." Troy said.

Troy looked down at Abed, seeing the lack of emotion in his face. Troy's very worried. Very scared.

"You two... are like two countries. Instead of making up, you bomb one another. You're just so stubborn." Troy muttered.

"Annie and I won't last if we ever dated. We share too much flaws. This was a bad idea. I'm sorry."

"That's the thing, Abed. You and Annie are not dating. She and Brent are. But you had to make it you. I thought it was just about pancakes."

"You're right." Abed said "I said I was sorry."

"No, Abed. You have to make it up to her. Tell her the truth. Go to Dildopolis and tell her the truth." Troy said. "She moving in here was supposed to keep peace in this place. I don't know what we were thinking."

Abed knew Troy was right. He was being an irational dick. So Abed went to Dildopolis to tell Annie the truth. She was there. Sitting. Waiting. For no one.

"Annie." Abed called out.

"Abed? What are you— "

"You were gone. For five hours. We thought you were dead."

"Oh... sorry."

"You're waiting for Brent?"

"He's coming, Abed."

Abed nodded and just sat with her on the bench. He could notice her eyeing his hoodie.

"I know it's cold. And you're dress is pretty much uncomfortable in this cold weather, but I'm not gonna lend you my jacket cause... I'll be cold too so..." he said plainfacedly.

"Oh...yeah, totally." Annie nodded.

Annie thought it was weird for Abed to be here. At this time. He should be watching Inspector Spacetime. But no, he's here. With her. Cool.

"Hey, Abed." she tapped his shoulder.

"Hm?" he said.

"Have you ever wanted something so much that even though you know how impossible it is, you convince yourself you're gonna get it?"

"No."

"Right."

"Why?"

"Well, Brent isn't coming."

Abed frowned. He crushed her. And that was bad. "I'm sorry."

"Why am I so weak with men?" she said, almost in tears. "I mean, I fall in love with every men I see and hope that fate brought us together or something. See, I would have fallen in love with Brent if I just read his name on the sidewalk."

She cried. Not wailed. She just cried silently. Defeated by her own self.

Abed sighed.

"Everyone is weak about something Annie. Every character are supposed to have their flaws and strengths. They fall down for a story. And pick themselves up for a conclusion." Abed said. "All you need to do now is pick yourself up and end the conflict, being changed. It's a classic style of writing. It's lazy but it's easy."

Annie nodded and wipe her tears off. "I need to pick myself up, huh?"

"Whatever seems right to you."

Annie forced a smile. "Thank you, Abed."

"I'm sorry if Brent didn't come."

"He's probably busy pole-vaulting for the Olympics."

Abed smiled. "Would you like for me to be Brent for awhile?"

"How about you just be yourself?" she said.

"How about half-me and half-Brent?"

"If you insist." she said with a soft laugh.

Abed removed his hoodie and covered Annie's back with it. "As Brent, I have this unusual urge to keep you warm."

Annie laughed. They stayed there for a while. They enjoyed the view of somebody buying some tampons inside Dildopolis and a man mugging some guy in an alley. Okay, maybe they didn't enjoy it.

"Hey Abed, what do you want for lunch tomorrow?" Annie asked, "Pancakes?"

"No." Abed declined. Pancakes was too much. "How about you pick lunch?"

"Alright," she smiled brightly. "Salad?"

Abed shook his head in disgust.

Annie sighed. "Buttered noodles?"

"Buttered noodles is my favorite." Abed said with a smile.

Annie just smiled. Abed wasn't a very sweet guy, but he was honest. And he helped her, she's thankful for that.

Abed, meanwhile, is thinking that if Annie ever found out about him catfishing her, she would kill him. So he had to enjoy this moment, after all, Troy isn't very good with secrets.


End file.
